Happiness

So lately I've been thinking a lot about happiness. What makes one happy? Is it possible to be happy with every aspect of life? Lately, I feel like I often have happiness in some areas of my life but never ALL at once! Why not? It makes me feel like maybe I am doing something wrong. Maybe I have the blinders on to what I am supposed to being doing in life. The song, the summons, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8lOfMjtxdE, has really be haunting me in someways lately. I keep questioning a decision I made lately that may have changed my life. It's not getting married to Tom because that is one decision that I know 100% without a doubt is what I am meant to do. It was another decision. I stood at an intersection where I could take a slight turn and I chose to stay on the road I was on. This decision made the most sense based on where life is headed and what Tom and I see for our future together. But part of me wonders, what if? What if this opportunity came up earlier? What if I took the turn! But then I remember why things are the way they are, I take a deep breath and know that in time things will work out. In time I will be 100% happy. It will come. In these times when I question, I am growing. When I struggle, I am growing. So that is good.

T-303 days!!

YEAH!! We are getting closer everyday! So exciting!!!! Lots to do and I always feel behind but I know I'm not. Its just my personality to check and recheck everything. I will make lists and re-write lists and check things off lists until the second I walk down the aisle! But all will fade away the second the doors are opened and I see Tom. Then it won't matter. Nothing will! Except for us and what we are about to do! amazing!!!

One a week!

So just to keep things flowing I have been trying to keep up on here at least once a week. It's worked for the most part. But as I went to prepare to write this and looked back at older posts, I noticed that 4 weeks have past since I had my big eleven month post! That means we are almost at 10 months!!! Crazy! Honestly some days I feel like I have nothing to worry about with so much already preplanned and worked out that I could just take off the next 6 months and jump right back in. Other days I freak out and think, "In two months there is one wedding and then 4 months after that is another one and then 4 months after that is us.' And somehow thinking about it like that generally stresses me out....right now not so much...at least when I wrote it out.

Publish Post

This week Tom is working at a leadership camp so I have been driving 40 minutes to see him each night. It is so true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. True I have been seeing Tom every day but its not the same!! For the 2 or so hours I see him, he is surrounded by 50 teens, running around doing what he loves while I'm thinking in my head, "can't we just be friends for like 5 minutes!!??" True he always walks me to my car and we have time alone then but it literally is only 5 minutes and then he has to run. I think it sucks especially cause I leave for a conference out of town this weekend on Friday when he gets back so we won't be able to see each other Friday and Saturday! Man this makes me want to vomit how mushy this all sounds! But I can't help it! I just love him ok?!?! Makes me so grateful that we really only ever did long distance 8 months! Man!!!! That sucked!!

So that is my post for this week because I will be leaving for the weekend and busy tomorrow at Tom's one year check-up (I get to spend the afternoon with him!)

But next week - 10 months>!>! oh dear!

I love crafts!!!

It's true!! I think that this may be a problem come next May 22nd when I have no more crafts to do!! TEAR!

But seriously I am addicted. And Michaels makes it so easy with their 40-50% off coupons to want to buy so much more!!! Each week I go at least once! Sometimes twice....or three times....often dragging Diana whether she likes it or not.....when she comes I get to buy more stuff! Right now the focus is on candles and getting them so that we will have enough for centerpieces and memorial candles. It's been a blasty blast! I also today bought stamps that I hope to use on invites and other things! I saw someone use them online and wanted it...so I bought it!!!! What fun!

Home is where the heart is!

This past week, Tom and I went to my hometown to visit with my family. I had some time owed to me at work and Tom has some time off so we loaded up his car and took off Tuesday-Saturday (today). It was amazing! My sister, niece and nephew were down for the week as well and my brother-in-law joined us on Thursday! The only thing missing was my baby sister! But we will see her soon when Tom, my mom and I go visit her!!! VACAY!!!!!!

I realized this week how I sometimes take my family for granted. This isn't something that happens on purpose but more because of location. I live 3.5 hours away from my hometown where one sister and my parents still live. 2 sisters (one married with kids) lives another 3.5 hours away from there and my baby sister lives a good 20+ hours away on the east coast.

So being so far away, its hard to always stay in contact with one another. We all get busy in our daily lives with school, work, and living, that it can be hard to stay in contact and to know what is going on in each others lives. Spending so much time with my family reminded me of how much fun my sisters and I had growing up. We were very blessed with a great childhood. Our parents love us and would always do anything for us. They demonstrated to me the type of parents I hope that Tom and I can be one day. I want to always be willing to put the needs and wants of my children over my own. Something that I am sure after living alone for a LONG time will be a change even in marrying Tom and moving in together. But something I am certain I will do.

My sisters and I are also blessed to be more than just sisters, we truly are all friends. Whenever I talk to people about having 4 sisters they are always surprised to hear that we are all best friends and that we are so close. So many people do not have the same relationship with their siblings as we do and for that I am grateful. True at times we still do get on each others nerves - we know what buttons to push to set each other off - that comes from growing up together! But in the end I know that each and everyone of us would drive, fly, swim, run, walk, sky dive (even you Krista), if any of us needed them to.

As much as this week has made me miss being able to spend time with my family more often than once every month or two, it has also helped in continuing another realization.

My family does not live near me - this is a fact. But I am very blessed to have family where I live. To start off with, I have Tom's family who has been nothing but amazing and welcoming to me since Tom and I began dating and then when I moved here. I am a shy person so I know it has been hard for more than just me. But in the past months as I have been planning our wedding and realizing I would like my family to be closer, I have come to recognize that Tom's family is my family and that I need to 'accept' that (for lack of words right now in explaining what I mean - accept is not at all the word I am looking for but a good stand in). I need to, I guess in some ways, let them be my family.

I am also blessed with great friends here. Friends who are willing to get together for no reason, to hang out, who leave work when I need them and drive me half way home after the death of my grandfather. Friends who have made adjusting to life in London so much easier. Friends who, when I thought about applying for the job closer to home, I couldn't imagine leaving.

All in all this weekend has made me realize how blessed I am!

13th Sunday in Ordinary Time

As part of my job, when I work weekends, I do a short intro before all the Masses. This can include announcements particular to the ministries I am involved in and a short intro to the readings.

I love this part of my job. I love being able to talk to the people and to share my thoughts on the readings, liturgical season.

Today I talked about Ordinary Time - something that seems boring - I thought why go to church during ordinary time when I was younger.....but Ordinary Time is not ordinary! It is still extraordinary!!! We are constantly celebrating God coming down to earth and becoming one of us! Especially in the Eucharist that we celebrate, we become aware of God's presence in our world today.

I also reflected on the Gospel for this Sunday (Luke 9:51-62). In the Gospel, followers of Christ were willing to follow God, IF....they were willing to follow God, BUT......

There are so many things we put in the way of following God 100%. So many road blocks and stumbling blocks that are put in place by us to stop us from following God because we don't agree 100% with what we are being called to do.

There are so many things that I put in the way of being a faithful follower of God. So many things that take away from our relationship. I won't list them here because it could be embarrassing so I invite you to think of your own stumbling blocks. Those things that you put up to build a wall between you and God. We need to take these and offer them up to God, knowing that He will help us to carry them and that in following Him our lives with be richer and we will be blessed greatly.

DIY Power Hour

In a matter of hours (a few) I managed to tackle a lot of DIY projects last night - surprising since I was up late the night before and had to work this morning early and yet I was still raring to go on some projects.

So last night I tore apart the box I bought for a card box - by tore apart I really mean I took one panel off - then I stained it. I also bought stuff to try out a 2nd centrepiece idea and created a little mock-up of it (it's not ideal cause not everything is the exact version of what I was envisioning so we'll see). I also played with rhinestones and put them around a heart that I am going to use somewhere.....who knows.

AND I put some DIY stuff away!! Out of my living room!! It is great! I have to clean off a shelf of my storage closet to make room for all the DIY stuff to fit but it will be good.

All in all a good night and I am surprisingly not too tired today at work! Praise God!